Confessions of A Jealous Makeup Artist: Getting Over The Green Eye Shadowed Monster

I am writing this blog in order to confess some sins. Sins concerning jealousy toward my fellow makeup artists. It's true, below are just some of my infractions. This is my atonement to those with whom I have trespassed against. Maybe as penance I can shed a little light on the darkness of my jealousy journey, envy in general and help to lighten your load as you back away from your own trip.

 

Forgive me Stila for I have sinned

I was 23 when I first started as a professional MUA with Senna Cosmetics. I was arrogant and closed off to the idea that there was anyone better at makeup than me. Oi! I remember when a former MAC makeup artist joined our team. Let's just say it went something like the scene from "Top Gun" with Ice Man and Maverick. "Have you figured it out yet? Who's the best?"

Walking backstage at LA Fashion Week was like "Who's the Best Side Story." It was me vs. them, the Jets vs. the Sharks. "Chuh chucha chsssh chucha chsssh." Eyeing everyone down, sizing up the competition, snapping with my thumbs. The whole nine.

                                 






How many times did I shimmy up to a makeup counter or met a MUA at a party and felt a condescending face come on? "You think you're an artist? THIS here is what a real artist looks like!"









The Green Eye Shadowed Monster: What is Jealousy?

Have you ever scrolled down Facebook and saw another makeup artist's post "Working on the new Kanye video!" Or "Flying to Rome to "work" #ilovemyjob!" 

Did it make you feel like this guy?-->

Jealousy, is a fear based emotion that stems from believing that you are separate from what you want. It's dread that something that you desire will never come to you. It can cause the following emotions if gone unchecked.

• anger 
• resentment 
• inadequacy,
• helplessness 
• disgust

My jealousy closed off any opportunity to build friendships based on common interests, learn from a fellow artists and I believe kept a lot of good from coming my way. I was arrogant and a jerk. A fellow makeup artist friend of mine pointed it out in a

loving way what a punk I was and that jump started of my 

journey away from jealousy.

Getting it under control

You're not alone by the way. Jealousy spans cultures, genders and is fun for the whole family. Here's how I started to break out of my moldy faced jealousy habits.

First things first, you have to put it in check and be aware of when feeling jealous. Some people draw conclusions or make judgments. "She slept with the producer to get that gig." or "Ugh how tacky". I was on the other side of things.Something amazing would happen to someone I knew and I would think, "it's because I'm not good enough." or  some other erroneous thought. It could send me into a momentary downward spiral of negative thinking. I didn't like the way it felt so I began to pay attention to when I'd start to feel it. I learned a few tricks and used them when I was aware of my jealousy to throw kinks in the ingrained reactions I had to it.

Switching gears

Jealousy stems from believing that you are separate or will become separated from what you want. When you start assuming, judging or comparing, you are focusing more why it sets you apart from what you want then on how to get it. It strengthens the subconscious belief that you're not going to attain your goals with "evidence".  We have to start switching the focus on how to make good things happen to you and not on why they don't!

Gratitude

If you stepped back and gave your career, no matter where it is, a nod, you could rub some of the hater out of your eyes and see that good things have come to you too. This is good to do even when you're already happy because it just makes you even happier. Even right now I can think of some hard core joyful moments from my career going all the way back to esthetician school. My teacher's belief in me, flying to Italy to work on my second feature or the time I got to work with Lily Tomlin (Google it kids.).





They sthaded from the bottom now they ere!

Your perceived "enemy" over there has had their own cornucopia of  struggles, down time and jealousies of their own. They too have been at the bottom and might be again be many times in their lives. True "winners" are the ones who get back every time. Cheesy but true.


There's plenty to go around!

You have to know that another's good DOES NOT take away from the good available to you and that jealousy stems from "personal insecurity rather than the actions of others".

An new way of thinking could be that the resources, the niches, the amount of reasons someone needs a MUA are endless and the proof is right  in front of you.

"Everything which you can conceive and accept is yours. Entertain no doubt. Refuse to accept worry and fear. That which knows and does everything is inside you and harkens to the slightest whisper."

- Uell Stanley Anderson.

                                                                         

Now when  I see a fellow MUA doing a gig that is amazing I think, "Yeah!" or "That's something I want to do too, I'm going to figure out how to do it!" This beefs up your allowing muscles. It's one small way of taking your resistance to someone else's good and turning it into appreciation, curiosity or even playfulness. 

               

Maybe they ARE better than you.

Some people are amazing and its ok to appreciate it and use their skills and career as a model so get your butt online, get a book, research, practice and focus more energy to your own good then the good of whom you are jealous. Figure out how they got to where they got, or what tools and techniques they used on a certain look. Make it your mission to really give the best! Get your talent out there and start your own blog or vlog or instagram dog. Start giving more of what you love to the people that you want to serve!

Put in on life's Pinterest board.

When scrolling on Pinterest I see things that I want or want to achieve, I'm happy with the mere existence of  it. The window shopping alone is fun because you're getting to see new and wonderful things. I look at another MUA's good in the same fashion. "How cool! She's a MUA for Saturday Night Live!" Then I mentally click on it and put it in the folder of my brain called "Possibilities." It changes thoughts of "Bitch" to "Bitch is awesome!"

Scratching the surface.

It's not easy to go through life a certain way and change it over night but at least some of these lil tips might be a refreshing way to respond and not simply react to jealousy. These new mental notes can be the difference between true success or YOU alluding success.

"Self discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think, you can't control what you do. Simply, self discipline enables you to think first and act afterward."-
Napolean Hill

Life after jealousy.

I'm not saying that I don't ever lose site of my connection to abundance, it just seems that  the storms are short lived and I can navigate through it with more grace than I ever did before.

I have strong friendships with many professional makeup artists who I can rely on when I have a gig for them that I can't do, need someone to join me on set or vice versa. I can credit more of my gig getting from other makeup artists than any other source. 

Be patient with yourself, the good coming to you and always remember to...